Sometimes you get some news that just devastates you. That happened this week.
Without going into too many details, because it still hurts, my family lost a very special person this week. We didn’t know she was sick, because she didn’t want anyone outside of her nuclear family to know. This strong woman only wanted people to think of her as the healthy, smiling, beautiful person that she was, not as someone who was sick.
Grief is a weird thing, because it affects everyone differently. She was the first person in my life that I have lost and grieved for. The first thing I did was cry. A sloppy wet cry. The next day I was numb, until I ruined a cake I was making, and found myself sobbing again. The cake had nothing to do with her. It was like the negative emotions associated with ruining the perfectly good cake summoned the harsher, pervasive realization that she was gone, and that was worse. I felt guilt. I felt like I didn’t even deserve to grieve. I didn’t see her enough. I didn’t talk to her enough. My mom and I really should have visited more. Why haven’t I kept in touch with her daughter? For days I have teared up at just the thought of her, and the thought of her daughter, my age and without her mom, her rock.
She’s not having a funeral or memorial service, which makes losing her even harder to cope with because theres nothing I can do for the rest of the family. They are all the way on the east coast, while I’m powerless in California, with only my words to help. And the only words I have are the same words that so many others are saying. The only way I can cope then, is to honor her in the best way I can:
Lynn was a 3 time cancer survivor, and Team in Training member. She raised over $100,000 for cancer research by participating in endurance events like marathons, Race Across America, and even an 80 mile roller blade for charity. In her honor and spirit, I’m going to continue her legacy by completing a 100 mile bike ride for Team In Training. My Team in Training is Team Lynn, and our current goal is to raise 4,800 for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. To visit my fundraising page, and maybe even donate, please click below:
Please support me in continuing the legacy and spirit of beautiful, strong, kind, amazing Lynn, and donate to my Team In Training.